A communication parable (4)
On Thursday afternoon, Brady and Sonia put the finishing touches to the slide deck for the next morning’s team meeting. “I love how you’ve highlighted so many qualities for each of our team, Sonia. I feel like this has captured your interest?” Sonia smiled. “It’s been great to have time to learn so much about each one. I think we have a much stronger team now. And I know your graphics will help each one see what I’ve discovered. You are the most creative one around here, and I think your passion for people fuels that.” “Well, I love how you’ve heard my suggestions and understood what I was getting at, so thanks!” “I learned that from your profile report, Brady. The Responder language needs to feel heard and understood. I was interested to see how that would help you, so I consciously focused on listening for the heart of what you were suggesting.” “Well, it worked, Sonia! I feel we’re going to have a productive meeting tomorrow.”
The team was all smiles as they gathered that Friday. The Ferman project was complete, and the client was delighted. With John’s planning and Betty’s resource management, they had even completed it two days ahead of schedule, giving them time to hear Sonia’s insights into their Life Languages profiles.
Anna welcomed them all: “Well done, everyone! The Executive team was most impressed that we wrapped up Ferman two days ahead of schedule. They think Columbus National could be our biggest success yet, and we’re in a positive position to start on Monday. And today is going to increase our strength because Sonia has learned so much about the Life Languages, and with Brady’s help, she will give us all the benefits of her research. Thanks, Sonia and Brady, over to you.”
Sonia looked around the group with a quiet smile. “You know I’m not usually the one to stand up and speak in our meetings, but I’m working on overcoming that today because I’ve discovered so much that can help us thrive as a team. And first, I want to highlight a key to success that will apply to us all. Can we have the first graphic, please, Brady?”
Brady’s first slide caught the eye and heart: a silhouette of a team reaching a mountain peak by helping each other up, with the headline “We each have a unique need from the others on the team.”
Sonia picked up her notes: “One of the reasons I have discovered for our turnaround over the past few weeks is that we have begun to recognize and meet each team member’s need from others. For example, Betty’s two highest languages are Doer and Producer, and they both need appreciation from others. I wanted to find out why two languages would have the same need, so I borrowed Anna’s folder from the offsite and discovered that the Doer language needs appreciation for what they have done, while the Producer needs appreciation for how they are managing.”
Betty’s face showed that this was an “aha” moment for her: “Now I see why Anna’s encouragement helped me so much in our last team meeting- she did both!”
“Yes, it was so effective because Anna’s first language passion is to encourage,” said Sonia. “So let’s look at what Anna needs from each of us in her primary language: next slide please, Brady.”
Brady had found a photo of their team leader with a broad smile on her face, and the picture made them all smile too: this was the Anna they knew and enjoyed. It was good that she had recovered her enthusiasm over the recent weeks as the team moved into healthier communication patterns. Brady’s caption on the photo read ‘The Influencer needs affirmation and connectedness.”
“Well, I’ll go first with that,” Chuck offered. “Anna, I’ve been watching for teamwork and successful movement toward our goals, as you requested, and you have consistently encouraged us all in that direction. It looks to me like we have a stronger connection as a team and a closer connection to you, which will bring us further success. Well-led and thank you.”
There was a ripple of applause around the table as the team nodded and murmured in agreement, then John added his thoughts. “Anna, you asked me to lay out the plan for the rest of the Ferman project, and I appreciated how you supported me in that. You asked us to highlight parts of our language descriptions that stood out to us, and the one that spoke most strongly to me as I thought about it was that the Shaper needs support. You’ve helped me play my part and bring my strengths to the table by giving me that. Thank you.”
Anna’s smile was broader than ever, and the affirmation energized her. “Oh, and another thing,’ John added, “Asking me to help Brady allowed me to leverage a passion from my second language. The Responder lives to please and protect, and I was able to do that with him. I think we both felt the difference it made, didn’t we, Brady?” “I certainly did,” Brady replied, “I’m pleased you did too because I care about how you are doing more than myself.”
The exchanges and insights continued for more than an hour. Each time Sonia and Brady presented another nugget of wisdom, the team understood each other more, and the strengths each could bring to their assignments became clearer.
Finally, Anna brought the meeting to a conclusion. “I’m so encouraged by each of you, and we’re going to bring all these new strengths to bear on the Columbus National project starting Monday. Chuck, you will lead this one because the client wants the highest standards of compliance with the regulations in their field. Sonia, you will be responsible for researching all those regulations and briefing Betty and John to be sure we don’t miss anything. John, your planning skills will be stretched this time, so please make room for your Responder to feel how each team member is doing as we move forward. We can’t afford to lose sight of the people as we work the plan! Betty, your resourcefulness is always invaluable, especially on this because we haven’t marketed such a heavily regulated company before. I want you to keep your Doer on point as we work on this. Not only to ensure tasks are not overlooked, but also, we need your filter question, “Is everyone doing their share” to be monitored with care so that no one gets overloaded. Chuck, I want you to check in with Betty on that regularly. I know it’s harder for you to focus on details, but Betty’s eye for detail and your courage to move forward will need to work together for us to succeed. And Brady, you’ve done a great job helping us all learn from Sonia’s discoveries about our differing success keys. I know that your Responder language will care about each one even more as a result. I want you to collaborate with John to ensure each person is cared for over the next few months. This is a challenging project, and we’re all going to be stretched by it. Since your second language is Influencer, I want you to help me find ways to encourage and connect everyone each week - a ten-minute stand-up meeting just to give kudos or a card you design to affirm each one that we can put on our desks. I’m sure you’ll have plenty of creative ideas for doing that.”
“And the first connecting event starts now. We’re all going down the street to Charlie’s Steakhouse; lunch is on me. And bring your personal belongings because you can all take the rest of the day off!”
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You are a person, not a profile.
We all speak all seven Life Languages.
Each language is prescriptive and descriptive - you can recognize it and allow it to be effective.
The Life Languages Communication Assessment is a multi-tool that every team can benefit from.
Each language thrives with specific words and actions, specific needs and filters, and specific strengths and passions. Thriving languages make thriving teams. Thriving teams succeed.
Are you ready to begin?